You ever read a certain string of words which just sounds so incredible, so unbelievable, yet so perfect that you just need to sit for a moment and process it? And then you hear that it came straight out of Revolutionary Russia? Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the “1st Russian Woman’s Battalion of Death”. Yes, it existed. Yes, it was awesome. And yes, I’m about to tell you all you need to know about these ass-kicking Sibiria dwelling polar bear kicking females.

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So, let’s set the stage: The year is 1917 and Russia is getting absolutely smacked in World War I (apparently keeping your entire population in serfdom while the rest of Europe modernizes isn’t the best strategy, whoooooo woulda thunk), and our friends in the Russian Provisional Government were really scraping the bottom of the barrel in terms of people to throw at the Germans. So, enter scene Maria Bochkareva. She was a peasant, who enlisted in the army back in November 1914, rose through the ranks, and literally petitioned the Russian Provisional Government’s war ministry for an exclusively female regiment, and after some initial pushback the government gave her the ok. And so, the 1st Russian Woman’s Battalion of Death in Petrograd was formed. Bad ass. (and I’m not making that up, it was actually called that. It lookes like Женский батальон смерти in Russian. How horryfying is that). And believe it or not, our heroine Bochkareva got not 20, not 100, not 1,000, but TWO THOUSAND enlistees who applied for the battalion. She only let in 300 that were up to her standards. Bad. Ass. They were whisked off to the front during the Kerensky Offensive (aka the last Russian offensive of the war) tossed into a trench, proceeded to charge over the top of that trench after the rest of the men in the trench refused, and pushed three trenches into German territory. Baddddddddd asssssssssssss. But in classic Russian 1917 form, they weren’t sent reinforcements, and had to retreat (dammit Tsar Nicholas II you stupid stupid man), and eventually were disbanded after a bunch of disapproval from male soldiers. Now one might think that’s the end of the story. It’s not. Because up next is the 1st Petrograd Women’s Battalion.

 

After Bochkareva did her thing and faded into the mist, thousands of women across Russia sent in petitions to the Russian Ministry of War to form new battalions. And so another one was approved, this time called the 1st Petrograd Women’s Battalion consisting of about 1,400 women who were not only trained to shoot stuff and take numbers, but also to read. This group met a rather unfortunate end, however, as they were overwhelmed by Communist Bolshevik forces while defending Winter Palace after they were failed to be reinforced yet again. Now think about that for a second, not only does the Winter Palace sound like it’s straight out of a Disney movie, but it was also home to the Russian monarchs of the time. So basically, the Women’s Battalion of Death were in charge of defending the most important thing in Russia whilst charged with killing communists. Read that sentence again. How cool is that. And the women who managed to escape the Bolsheviks headed outside the city and rearmed.

 

The final notable Battalion was the 2nd Moscow Women’s Battalion of Death, which was created in June of 1917. Now if you know anything about Russian history, that’s getting awfully close to November, which was a pretty unfortunate month to be a Russian if you enjoyed food and Capitalism. By the end of the summer, the battalion was 1,000 strong, but by the fall the leadership of the battalion collapsed. But the women that were in it weren’t done, and 500 of them requested to be placed back in combat. And on October 25, 1917 the 2nd Moscow Women’s Battalion of Death were the last army defending the Winter Palace before the palace inevitably fell to the communists. And who were they being led by? You guessed it: Maria Bochkareva. Bad. Ass.